Well it's actually been quite a few months since I last posted a blog and boy, so much has changed. I've been re-reading old posts and have realised just how different my life is now (and not for the better, I'm afraid to say).
In my old posts, I spoke of how good I felt, how my arthritic pain had diminished quite considerably, how much more in control of things I was and how happy I felt.
Now all of my pain has pretty much returned, I'm tired & lethargic a lot of the time and not happy with the way things are going. And now in all honesty, the reason for all these problems I am having............cooked food!!!! What more can I say?
It all started back around Easter. Hubby and I hadn't had a break in many years, so went away for three days over Easter. Eating out every evening was were everything went wrong. During the day, there was no problem, I stuck to eating fruit, but at night it all went down hill. I would generally start the evening with a small avocado salad as an entree and then have stir fry vegetables as the main.
At the time and for a month or so later, after getting into this habit and eating more and more cooked vegetables over this time, I felt great. Obviously, this is what my body wanted, I told myself. Oh how things quickly changed.
It was not long after this first month when all the old symptoms returned and I once again felt like shit. Did I do anything about it though? No! Although when I truly think about it, I didn't put this pain down to eating 'cooked' , I thought I was overdoing the exercise, because due to the arthritis I have to be careful about how much and the type of exercise I do, so I don't aggrevate it more. So this is when I cut back on my daily exercise sessions. So as you can guess, this did not make a difference.
I kept eating my 'cooked' vegetables, oblivious to what I was doing to my body. Then one day, it suddenly hit me.When I realised about six weeks ago that 'cooked' had to be the culprit for my problems, I decided to do something about it. Within three days of reverting back to raw, I started to see and feel an improvement. This unfortunately only lasted for another few days, before I was back eating 'cooked' vegetables again. I quite simply had lost my willpower, which had always been a part of me when I wanted it and up until a few days ago I thought I had lost it forever. So how did I get it back? A wonderful Raw Vegan site called 30Bananas A Day (30BAD).
When my eating habits began to spiral out of control, I stopped visiting 30BAD and also stopped posting in my blog. I guess I felt ashamed and a failure. I felt I didn't deserve to be associated with the 30BAD community, a dedicated bunch of raw vegans, while here I was doing exactly what wasn't a part of the major plan. Avoiding the inevitable, was easier than facing my critics, so to speak.
I was at work one day, when browsing my 'favourites' that I came acrosse 30BAD and decided to sign in to see if I was still a member. Let me say this was the best decision I have made over the last 7 months. I soon realised after reading through others posts, that this community was a part of the reason I became raw in the first place. The support, understanding, assistance and encouragement I received, was what made me stick to a RV diet and nothing had really changed. So I stuffed up! We all learn from our experiences and mine was a hell of a lesson. That's when my willpower finally kicked in again. I knew what I had to do!
So now, here I am again, still in the early stages (Day 5), but I'm back being who I want to be. A low fat raw vegan (LFRV). I'm just as determined as I was at the beginning of my journey almost 12 months ago and once again know that this is what I want. Constant pain and feeling generally shit, is not what I want. I want to be where I was all those months ago and now know I can do it again.
This is only the beginning................
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