Day 365 - Tuesday 1st December 2009

Today is officially one year since I first discovered the Raw Lifestyle and made the decision to change my life for the better. There have been a few hiccups along the way, however I seem to be back on track again and looking forward to better things ahead.

Today is Day 18 of once again 100% Raw and I'm doing fine. My arthritis pain has reduced a little and things are looking good. Have dropped a couple of kilo's again, since returning to 100% raw, but feeling really good about it.

Went to a BBQ on the weekend (took my own salad) and was surprised by a comment I received from a friend who I hadn't seem in a few months. She had always said how skinny I looked and that I should put on weight, because I looked sick. Well her comment to me on this day, was that I looked a lot better and was actually looking good.

This commment surprised me quite frankly, because if anything I am now two kilo's lighter, but other than that nothing had really changed and I was still who I was a few months ago. Anyway, not use to getting comments like that from people who knew me before, I thanked her and said it had to do with balancing out my food and knowing how much you need to eat. She was happy with the response, so that suited me just fine.

One thing though that I have found since becoming RV is the amount of people that comment on how skinny I look. It use to really upset me when they'd say I'm too skinny and need to eat more. Now I just tell them that is exactly what I do and that if they are comparing me to what I use to look like, then yes I'm skinny, but this is normal and healthy and what I was before, wasn't.

I love being thin and not having to worry about putting on weight. Before raw my weight use to fluctuate up and down from 5 to 10 kilos (11-22 lbs), now the margin is more like 1-2 kilos (2.2-4.4 lbs). My weight has always been a major concern to me since my late teens, now I don't even entertain the thought.

It's so simple, when you eat raw, you just don't need to worry about your weight.

Day 352 - Tuesday 24th November 2009

Just thought I'd check in and say that everything is running smoothly once again. It's now Day 12 of a new journey into the world of 'RAW'.

Have seemed to have settled back into a routine with eating fruit during the day and a salad for dinner. Have had no cravings for cooked food and have also noticed a little reduction in the arthritic pain.

The most painful part of the day for me has always been first thing in the morning. After sleeping for hours the joints seize up and make it painful and difficult to move. My morning exercise session, does help, although after showering, getting ready for work and a twenty minute drive, the joints seize up again and I struggle to get out of the car.

This morning more than any other I noticed that upon performing this simple task, the pain didn't seem as bad. This is a really good sign and could very well mean that my body is starting to mend itself again.

Day 345 - Tuesday 17th November 2009

Well it's actually been quite a few months since I last posted a blog and boy, so much has changed. I've been re-reading old posts and have realised just how different my life is now (and not for the better, I'm afraid to say).

In my old posts, I spoke of how good I felt, how my arthritic pain had diminished quite considerably, how much more in control of things I was and how happy I felt.

Now all of my pain has pretty much returned, I'm tired & lethargic a lot of the time and not happy with the way things are going. And now in all honesty, the reason for all these problems I am having............cooked food!!!! What more can I say?

It all started back around Easter. Hubby and I hadn't had a break in many years, so went away for three days over Easter. Eating out every evening was were everything went wrong. During the day, there was no problem, I stuck to eating fruit, but at night it all went down hill. I would generally start the evening with a small avocado salad as an entree and then have stir fry vegetables as the main.

At the time and for a month or so later, after getting into this habit and eating more and more cooked vegetables over this time, I felt great. Obviously, this is what my body wanted, I told myself. Oh how things quickly changed.

It was not long after this first month when all the old symptoms returned and I once again felt like shit. Did I do anything about it though? No! Although when I truly think about it, I didn't put this pain down to eating 'cooked' , I thought I was overdoing the exercise, because due to the arthritis I have to be careful about how much and the type of exercise I do, so I don't aggrevate it more. So this is when I cut back on my daily exercise sessions. So as you can guess, this did not make a difference.

I kept eating my 'cooked' vegetables, oblivious to what I was doing to my body. Then one day, it suddenly hit me.When I realised about six weeks ago that 'cooked' had to be the culprit for my problems, I decided to do something about it. Within three days of reverting back to raw, I started to see and feel an improvement. This unfortunately only lasted for another few days, before I was back eating 'cooked' vegetables again. I quite simply had lost my willpower, which had always been a part of me when I wanted it and up until a few days ago I thought I had lost it forever. So how did I get it back? A wonderful Raw Vegan site called 30Bananas A Day (30BAD).

When my eating habits began to spiral out of control, I stopped visiting 30BAD and also stopped posting in my blog. I guess I felt ashamed and a failure. I felt I didn't deserve to be associated with the 30BAD community, a dedicated bunch of raw vegans, while here I was doing exactly what wasn't a part of the major plan. Avoiding the inevitable, was easier than facing my critics, so to speak.

I was at work one day, when browsing my 'favourites' that I came acrosse 30BAD and decided to sign in to see if I was still a member. Let me say this was the best decision I have made over the last 7 months. I soon realised after reading through others posts, that this community was a part of the reason I became raw in the first place. The support, understanding, assistance and encouragement I received, was what made me stick to a RV diet and nothing had really changed. So I stuffed up! We all learn from our experiences and mine was a hell of a lesson. That's when my willpower finally kicked in again. I knew what I had to do!

So now, here I am again, still in the early stages (Day 5), but I'm back being who I want to be. A low fat raw vegan (LFRV). I'm just as determined as I was at the beginning of my journey almost 12 months ago and once again know that this is what I want. Constant pain and feeling generally shit, is not what I want. I want to be where I was all those months ago and now know I can do it again.

This is only the beginning................

Day 189 - Wednesday 10th June 2009

Day 4 Food Consumption

3 Med. Oranges
3 Lge. Mandarines
12 Medium Strawberries
1 Med. Apple
150g Papaya
4 Bananas

To be continued.......

Day 188 - Tuesday 8th June 2009

Well an awful lot has happened since my last post, with the majority of it not being good.

My stint back eating 100% raw, as mentioned in that post, lasted all of about 3 or 4 days and then I caved in again and started eating some cooked vegan.

Since then my arthritis has got progressively worse and although I have still not succumbed to taking medication again, the pain at times has been quite unbearable to the extent of interrupted sleep. When I roll over while asleep, I find myself waking, because of the pain. This happens more than 1/2 dozen times a night.

I am still exercising, but with pain 98% of the time.

The weather is getting colder here now by the day and a lot of my pain could be associated with this, however I don't believe it is all to blame.

As of three days ago I have begun to record the foods I am eating, as a diary of food consumption, moods, pain etc... I hope to get some sort of indication if anything raw I am eating is affecting the arthritis, or whether it was strictly the cooked foods in my diet or just the cold weather without medication.

I have now been left with no choice, due to giving in to the cooked temptation. It's pain-free or painful, that it's now come down to and you certainly don't need to be an Einstein to work out the choice I made. I am back - 100% raw, again (this is now the third day).

Here, I will also record my daily eats, moods etc...

Day 1 Menu

2 Med. Custard Apples

1 Lge Dragon fruit

4 Passion fruits

2 Sm. Bananas

5 Sm. Mandarines

10 Almonds

Salad - 16 slices continential cucumber

4 cups mixed lettuce

1/2 cup baby spinach leaves

2 sm. mushrooms

3 snowpeas

1/2 grated carrot

1 sm. avocado

1 lge. tomato

1 Glass Lemon Water

2 litres water

Day 2

2 Glasses Lemon Water

800g Mandarines (juiced)

450g Papaya

3 Med. Bananas

6 Brazil Nuts

4 Sm. Mandarines

200g Med. Strawberries

2 Lge. Pears

5 Macadamia Nuts

12 Cashews

10 Almonds

2 Med. Oranges

5 Passion fruits

Today's menu: (Day 3 - 100% Raw)

6 Med. Passion fruit

1 Lge Dragon fruit

1 Med. Apple

2 Med. Pears

12 Med. Strawberries

5 small Mandarines

8 Brazil Nuts

8 Macadamia Nuts

18 Slices Continental Cucumber

1 Med. Tomato

1/2 Med. Carrot

1 Stick Celery

1 Glass of Lemon Water

2.5 litres of Water

Pain: Seems to be subsiding some what since starting 100% raw again.

Not as painful rolling over in bed and can actually now lie on my side for short periods without intense pain and discomfort.

Only woke twice during night.

Still very painful first thing after waking in morning, until I do my exercises. Find it hard to get out of bed until the joints warm up and then the pain is manageable providing I keep moving regularly.

On scale 1-10 today's pain - 7.5 to 8

Mood: Feeling really tired and worn out today.

Detox has well and truly set in. Have had a headache on and off for the last couple of days and the bad wind, stomach curdling and diarrhea started today. (Oh, how I love detox!!!)

Day 170 - Thursday 21st May 2009

So, I'm back on my 100% raw journey again, after a bit of a hiccup.

It's been only the second day now and already my digestion pains have eased and my bloating has almost subsided. I no longer feel nausea and I'm beginning to feel a lot less wrecked. Now I just need to wait for the onset of detox to hit and I'll then know my body is almost back on track.

My arthritis pain returning has me a little worried, although I do tend to think that it could be related to the oncoming cold weather we are experiencing, with winter coming on and all. I have not yet experienced a winter without drugs, so do not really know how my body reacts to the cold. Obviously, time will tell.

Day 168 - Tuesday 19th May 2009

Okay, well I guess I'm finally here today after a couple of weeks, to pretty much confess that it seriously looks like I've become addicted to cooked food again. Don't get me wrong it's certainly not the typical SAD - I'm still a strict vegan (no grains, dairy, meat etc...) but I've resorted to cooking my vegetables, particularly now that it is getting colder here and have started to consume more nuts, avocados and dates for some reason. As a result this is killing my digestive system and I'm feeling bloated, have indigestion and stomach pains, yet continue to eat cooked.
Why???
I know the reason why, yet it certainly doesn't help me or solve the problem. You see the last month or so my fruit intake has declined which has meant I crave cooked food and overt fats (nuts, avocado's) more. I know I have to increase my fruit intake again in order to take the cooked cravings away, but what do you do if you quite simply don't want the fruit?
There are a few fruits that I use to really like eating that now turn my stomach and as the days go by I'm finding that I'm wanting and eating less and less fruit. I can't actually believe I'm saying that, because I love fruit, but it's true.
As well as the problems I'm experiencing with indigestion, I've also found that my arthritis pain has increased again, particularly in the morning when it is quite bad and that if it wasn't for exercising I don't think I would get through the day. I still haven't resorted to taking medication again, although some days I could easily do so because of the pain.
Whether my pain has returned because of the cooked food, the salt I put on the cooked food, the increase in overt fats, or even the weather turning colder, I am yet to discover.
At the end of each day, when I go to bed feeling quite frankly wrecked, I tell myself that tomorrow will be different, however I have been telling myself this now for weeks and still nothing has changed.
I feel like I have totally failed, when this is something that I so wanted. I know how raw and then 811LFRV (80/10/10 Low Fat Raw Vegan) made me feel, yet I still allowed myself to get to this point.
The mind is a powerful thing and willpower is something I generally have a lot of...........where has it gone now that I need it so much?

Day 155 - Wednesday 6th May 2009

Well, a few days after recording my last post I suffered severe heartburn, indigestion problems along with a lower back ache. This lasted for two days before I thought that perhaps it could be the cooked food I was eating, so I went back to strictly raw again and within a day the pain dissappeared.

So what did I learn from this? A cooked meal every now and again is fine, but too frequently and it starts playing havoc with my digestion. I can't believe how different is made me feel and how quickly it upset everything internally, just by having one cooked meal a day over a period of about ten days. It wrecked me!

Saying that though, I did make a homemade vegie soup the other day.

Monday here, was a public holiday and was a really cold, windy day (I'd hate to see what winter is going to be like). I suffer terribly in the cold and just could not get warm all day, even after having a couple of hot lemon waters. I needed to warm up, so decided to make a soup (vegies only in water on the stove top for about three hours). It made a chunky veg soup that went down really well and certainly did its job of warming me.

If winter is going to be colder than normal this year, I will need something to keep me warm and if too much cooked food is going to affect me, then I might have to try vegie soups, but broths only, with the vegetables discarded after cooking so just the liquid is left. Perhaps this might digest better over longer consumption. Will give it a go anyway if I need to.

Everything else has been going along smoothly for me and other than the small hiccup I mentioned, am feeling pretty good.

Day 146 - Monday 27th April 2009

Have been keeping an eye on my weight of late and have noticed that I have again lost more weight and am now down to 52kgs. My goal weight was 55kgs, but somehow I went below that. Maintaining my goal weight is harder than I expected, but hey, having the difficulty of putting on or maintaining my weight is a hell of a lot better than trying to get the weight off. I think this is probably the first time in my life that I've had to deal with this. That makes a nice change in a way.

Since my last entry, I can honestly say that my diet has changed for the better. Although I am still a strict vegan, I have incorporated one cooked meal a day back into my diet. This is another reason I believe I am still losing the weight, as vegetables are low in fat and carbs, so have little on their own to increase the weight. I have dropped off eating as much fruit as I use to, so will have to increase the higher fat/carb fruits like dragonfruit, bananas, avocado's and include more nuts and seeds. I want to still stick to a low fat diet, because high fat plays havoc with my digestion, but by including more of the above my weight should start to plateau. I will have to make a point of doing my measurements again this week, as it has been quite a while since I last recorded them.

Made a delicious nut cheese the other day, which is awesome and have been putting it into my salads and stir fries of late. Discovered a really great wrap bread, called Mountain Bread that has no dairy, eggs, sugar etc... that I have been eating of late also. It does have a rice wheat in it though, which probably shouldn't really be in my eating plan, but I'm enjoying it and it doesn't make me feel bloated and digests quite well. I generally fill up the wrap with salad or stir fry veg and with a little nut cheese is really tasty.

I'm happy with how I feel at the moment and the foods I'm eating are really agreeing with me. My cravings for SAD have pretty much dissappeared and although I will admit that a lot of the foods smell great when they are cooking, that's as far as I generally want to take it. Tasting these foods now, does not even enter my head, but instead I look forward to eating vegan.

Changing my way of living and eating vegan has made a huge difference in my life. The difference is not only noticeable on the outside, but also on the inside, which is why I feel so much more healthier than I have ever felt before. My body now teaches me what to feed it and what agrees with it. Just the other day hubby took me out to dinner at Sizzler for my birthday where I could choose from a large array of fruits and salad items to fill me up. Upon eating a salad that I thought was tomato, onion, capscium, herbs, I soon discovered it was actually a very spicy salsa salad that gave me stomach and digestion pains that made me literally feel sick. The next day I was still recovering.

Since becoming vegan I have discovered the following about my digestion and the foods I eat.

I cannot consume melons on an empty stomach.

Too many nuts and seeds causes constipation, bloating and stomach pains.

I need to avoid spices in foods.

Fresh, whole raw foods do digest easier, but so does cooked vegetables also.

My body quickly tells me what it likes and what it doesn't and while it continues to, I will continue eating this way.

Day 134 - Wednesday 15th April 2009

Well Easter has now gone and our few days away did us the world of good - very relaxing and enjoyable.

Was expecting and fully prepared to eat cooked while away and did so, but still vegan. Had stir fried vegetables on two occasions and a vegan pizza without cheese on another. The food went down a lot better than I expected and did tend to give me a lot more energy.

Have been feeling quite tired and lethargic lately and the cooked foods seemed to give me a bit of a boost. Have now decided to incorporate a few low fat cooked vegan meals into my diet, but with no dairy, wheat or eggs, to see if I start to feel any better. Basically, I just have no oil, stir fried vegies in mind as the alternative, this way I can incorporate a lot of greens into it, seeing I can't stomach the taste of green smoothies.

I still want to follow all the raw vegan guidelines, except a few days a week my evening meal will be cooked. If after a few weeks it makes no difference or I feel any adverse effects, I will go back to all raw. The last thing I want is for my health to start to suffer, my wellbeing now is my main priority.